Figuring it out.

Marrying someone in the exact same career as you is sort of a rarity, at least it is in my circle. I can't think of any friends or family that have a spouse or partner that work at the same office or in the same field. When I married a fellow student affairs professional I knew figuring out our career futures would be tricky. When Kyle and I talked about our careers we discussed supporting each other when looking for career advancement and acknowledged that at some points one partner might have to take the lead with the other's blessing and support. Which sounds so easy when you aren't faced with big career decisions, or when you think YOU will be the one taking the lead.

Kyle had a wonderful opportunity in January to apply to a position in student conduct at the institution we currently work at. Knowing this was a promotion for him, and something that he was passionate about I fully supported him applying. When he was offered the job I was in full support of him accepting it, knowing that we would be staying in Athens for a little while longer. Now, as I sit behind the same desk I have been at for four years (in a position thought I would only be in for three) I am faced with the reality of what my career options are for the future and what supporting my spouse in his new role really looks like.

It is hard for me to not to automatically feel limited in my options for my career future. In grad school I found my calling in residence life. I have loved my positions in housing and have envisioned making the step from entry level to mid manager in housing. But positions in my current department at the next level are few. I've begun thinking that in order to move up, I might have to move out of housing and into another functional area at my institution. That is scary. I feel like housing is what know, it is what I love. Would I be happy doing something else? Would I fit in somewhere else? Would I be able to contribute? Another option would be to look at another institution in the vicinity and commute to work (something I have never actually had to do). I have had the luxury of a 20 foot commute since grad school in 2007. Do I want to commute over three hours a day to and from Atlanta? I have also started thinking about going back to school full time for my PhD. That is a serious commitment and not something I would do just because I don't know what else to do. Can I write a dissertation? Do I remember how to be a student? OR I could just stay where I am and keep learning and growing within supervising, advising and advocating. When I went to RELI the faculty focused on enjoying the PRESENT and being PRESENT. And I think that is where I might need to be right now. Present in my current job, and not worrying about I am going to do next. I need to be open to opportunities and think outside this box I have potentially put my career in. The one thing I have learned in this field is that everyone's path is a little different.

I am also finding supporting my spouse is easier said than done. My mother is an excellent example of support. She supported my father's military career for 20+ years, then at the age of 40 started her career and in the last 15 years has had a rich experience and accomplished so much, like getting her JD and passing the Bar exam. My mom taught me you don't need to have it all figured out, planned or decided in your twenties, and that so much can happen later in life. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of Kyle, or any of my friends that are currently job searching. But I shouldn't let that jealousy and envy get in the way of showing support to Kyle or my friends.

I don't have it figured out right now. I don't have all the answers. And I am okay with that.