Job Searching As The Follower

I have been VERY honest on this blog about career struggles and I have mentioned before that when I got married I thought my career would be the one that would accelerate faster than my husbands. WOAH was I WRONG! Not only did Kyle get promoted at UGA before me, but this move to UVa was like two steps forward for him and one step back for me.
As I mentioned in my last post, I had a little struggle with our relocation and searching for a job. What does it mean to be a "trailing" spouse, and how can I turn that to a positive?! What about my five years of professional experience and my masters degree?? I want to use them!

There were a couple of considerations for me in this search. First, I wanted to be in higher education, particularly student affairs/ student services. While Residence Life was my first love, I knew I had transferable skills that would allow me to apply to different function areas in higher ed and still be a great candidate. Second, I wanted to work at UVa. I didn't want to commute to and from work. I wanted to convenience of working at the same place as my husband. As a married couple, working together is all we know, and it works so well for us. So with all that in mind I set off on the search and I learned some good lessons:
1. Reflect- I took awhile to sit down and reflect on my experiences and how to best represent them on my resume. I shared my resume with several colleagues and got advice. I made different versions of my resume that focused on skills that would fit different areas; Human Resources, Student Advising, Housing, etc.
2. Activate your network- As soon as Kyle signed his contract I posted our good news on Facebook. The first person to comment was my NHTI faculty member who told me that she knew someone and would pass along my resume. Several of my colleagues at UGA asked for my resume so they could pass it along to people they knew that might be able to help me. Just knowing I had people to rely on and help me made me feel comfortable. When I was offered a phone interview for my current position I emailed an acquaintance from undergrad that works in the same career field and asked for advice. even though I hadn't seen or spoken to this person in almost seven years, she was happy to give me advice and encouragement.
3. Be flexible and open to new opportunities- Saying you are open to new things, and actually being open are two different things. I struggled a little bit with this at first. I had always seen myself working in a college residential setting. The average person changes their career something like eight times. I needed to be ok letting go of the comfort that went with my planned career path and EMBRACE the opportunities in front of me.
4. No past experience is too small- When I was interviewing I pulled examples from across all facets of my life; from career to volunteering, no experience was too small. If it related to the job, I used it!

I have been in my current job for over a month so far, and I am really happy. I think that everything worked out the way it was supposed to. You have to have a little faith in the process, but also position yourself to be able to make some decisions about what will make you happy in your career.

So.... the last four months.....

To be 100% honest I haven't opened blogger since I wrote my last post in April. A lot has happened in the last four months.

1. Kyle and I took a vacation to Colorado in May! We visited friends of ours that are stationed there. Kyle hates, hates, hates flying. So I was surprised when he said he wanted to go to the other side of the country for vacation. I'm glad we did. It was a great trip. 

 

 

2. I went to Rhode Island to see my brother graduate from Naval Officer Candidate School. And I am so proud of him. Newport is a super cute town, and time with the family was just what the doctor ordered. I hadn't seen my brother since Christmas. 

I could watch this video EVERYDAY!

 

3. I attended the National Housing Training Institute. This institute is actually hosted by my department for the Association of College and University Housing Officers- International. It is a great opportunity to work one on one with some awesome housing professionals and really focus on your goals. I am going to write a specific post about my experience, because there are things I want to reflect on, but the time I spent with my cluster and cluster leader was so valuable and transformative, this was definitely a highlight of my summer.

 

4. I got a new job! Funny story, the position I interviewed for in December actually opened up again, I applied again and interviewed again. This time I was offered and accepted the position. I started in July and have been busy ever since. My new responsibilities include coordinating the search process for professional staff and we have had some turnover the last couple of weeks that has had me busy, but I couldn't be happier.

5. We moved!! So, when I accepted my new position it meant that we needed to move off campus. Thus began the house hunt. we looked at apartments, townhouses and homes. On the east side, west side and in the center of town. It was exhausting. I have lived in Athens for four years, but never actually thought about living in the community. I was most worried about commuting to work, I know that sounds silly, but I have never actually had to do it before. We ended up finding a wonderful townhouse that is close to campus in a great part of town. I love it. And my wonderful sister-in-law came to Athens to help us move. I don't know what we would have done without her.

It wouldn't be a complete blog post without a picture of Gigi.

 

6. I found out I am pregnant!!! It was actually in the beginning of June, the night I got home from NHTI. I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. I took two tests. Kyle was so excited. We called our families immediately. My mom didn't believe me, she made me send a picture of the tests. It wasn't until we heard the baby's heartbeat at our first appointment that it really sunk in for me. And my second appointment the baby moved on the ultrasound, which was probably the coolest thing I have ever witnessed. I am so excited for this journey.

 

All in all this summer has really been a blur. And I haven't really thought about baby related things yet, which is fine because it is still early. But my attention has just been pulled in so many directions. Classes at the university started this week, so I am ready for things to get in a routine. I feel so blessed for all the wonderful things that have happened over the last couple of months and for having such a wonderful summer!

Figuring it out.

Marrying someone in the exact same career as you is sort of a rarity, at least it is in my circle. I can't think of any friends or family that have a spouse or partner that work at the same office or in the same field. When I married a fellow student affairs professional I knew figuring out our career futures would be tricky. When Kyle and I talked about our careers we discussed supporting each other when looking for career advancement and acknowledged that at some points one partner might have to take the lead with the other's blessing and support. Which sounds so easy when you aren't faced with big career decisions, or when you think YOU will be the one taking the lead.

Kyle had a wonderful opportunity in January to apply to a position in student conduct at the institution we currently work at. Knowing this was a promotion for him, and something that he was passionate about I fully supported him applying. When he was offered the job I was in full support of him accepting it, knowing that we would be staying in Athens for a little while longer. Now, as I sit behind the same desk I have been at for four years (in a position thought I would only be in for three) I am faced with the reality of what my career options are for the future and what supporting my spouse in his new role really looks like.

It is hard for me to not to automatically feel limited in my options for my career future. In grad school I found my calling in residence life. I have loved my positions in housing and have envisioned making the step from entry level to mid manager in housing. But positions in my current department at the next level are few. I've begun thinking that in order to move up, I might have to move out of housing and into another functional area at my institution. That is scary. I feel like housing is what know, it is what I love. Would I be happy doing something else? Would I fit in somewhere else? Would I be able to contribute? Another option would be to look at another institution in the vicinity and commute to work (something I have never actually had to do). I have had the luxury of a 20 foot commute since grad school in 2007. Do I want to commute over three hours a day to and from Atlanta? I have also started thinking about going back to school full time for my PhD. That is a serious commitment and not something I would do just because I don't know what else to do. Can I write a dissertation? Do I remember how to be a student? OR I could just stay where I am and keep learning and growing within supervising, advising and advocating. When I went to RELI the faculty focused on enjoying the PRESENT and being PRESENT. And I think that is where I might need to be right now. Present in my current job, and not worrying about I am going to do next. I need to be open to opportunities and think outside this box I have potentially put my career in. The one thing I have learned in this field is that everyone's path is a little different.

I am also finding supporting my spouse is easier said than done. My mother is an excellent example of support. She supported my father's military career for 20+ years, then at the age of 40 started her career and in the last 15 years has had a rich experience and accomplished so much, like getting her JD and passing the Bar exam. My mom taught me you don't need to have it all figured out, planned or decided in your twenties, and that so much can happen later in life. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of Kyle, or any of my friends that are currently job searching. But I shouldn't let that jealousy and envy get in the way of showing support to Kyle or my friends.

I don't have it figured out right now. I don't have all the answers. And I am okay with that.